No one signs your cast!

Hi! How are you feeling now? My physician asked me when I called her up after a week’s bed rest from a liver disorder.

It was a simple acidity that refused to go away and then nausea came up. I was feeling more and more fatigued every passing day. I could sense something was seriously wrong. I was pretty sure it was something I ate, but I knew this time I needed help.

I am better! I said!

She still insisted I get my liver checked again and stay on bed rest a couple of more days. But, as you know, bed rest and babies don’t fit in the same scenario!

And while I knew I was not recovered fully, I also was aware that I was dealing with things much worse than this. This liver disorder was merely an inconvenience for me and my loving mom in law who came to take care of me.

Basically, I have been dealing with mental illness. Whether you think it is real or I am making up a scenario (I leave that upto you). But in all honesty, I have been fighting post-partum depression and severe anxiety for past couple of years. All thanks to my doctors, my mental health is under control and I live a happy life today.

But, I hate to see that mental illness is still a taboo. When you are down with a bad liver, you have people to come and take care of you. Have a leg sprain or down with a cast on your ankle? People are eager to help you!

Yet, no one will sign your cast for mental illness.

Why, you may ask? Well, because there are no physical wounds to show!

But people would really care if I had an ankle cast. Someone would help with the kids, my moms will cook meals and take over the kitchen while I happily Netflix and chill! My friends and cousins will probably sign the cast for me with loving messages. It would garner sympathy from my peers, but my internal issues, sufferings of my mental health, which are much more debilitating will not garner a fraction of that support!

People will say what they have to say for me to feel better and heal from my physical illness. I would probably get a few calls from well-meaning relatives and some may even send me flowers!

And this is what upsets me the most!

Recovering from a mental illness is every bit as difficult as recovering from any physical health issue. Yet, no one comes to cook for your family. No one brings you cards and flowers. No one comes to tell you how strong you are – in fact, they do the opposite. Your boss will not understand why you need some time off work. Because you are dealing with an unseen illness! They may even accuse you of being too emotional! As if it’s a bad thing!

When I was in the lowest lows of my life, I was told many things! “Toughen up and get over it?”, “You need to change how you think!”, “Pull yourself together, you have a family to think about, how can you be so irresponsible?” No one told me, they understand. No one asked me what they can do to help?

What people often fail to realize, is the fact that such statements can have a direct impact on mental health of a person. Imagine having a broken leg and a well-meaning friend hits it with a bat! This is exactly what happens when your loved ones tell you to stop being sick!

This is why most people refrain from talking about their issues – fear of being judged, rejection and shaming! It’s like having a 1000 pound monkey on your back that is invisible and you cannot tell anyone about! The sad thing about mental illness is that no one can see that you are suffering – more often than not, in silence.

Because, no one signs your cast!

Most people will tell you to be strong to survive. They may even get down to comparisons. But no matter how hard you try, you may not be able to cope. Why?

Because the journey to recovery is long and tough and there is no graph to predict when you will start to feel better! There are no blood tests to check your progress, only symptoms, which get better or worse. Many people are in fact, unable to afford the high cost of treatment and hence, resort to drugs and alcohol abuse! And we all know how our society perceives alcoholics and drug addicts! Right?

People will blame you, shame you and criticize every action you resort to for your mental health. But they will not ask how you are! They will not take you to a doctor like they would in a high fever!

They will not sign your cast!

We should not be ashamed to seek help and treatment. We should not be scared. And, it is not our fault. We need to stop believing that. and we as a society, as well meaning friends and relatives, should stop doing that! Let’s treat a mental health disease like a physical disease, a liver dysfunction, a migraine, a chronic pain or a broken leg!

Let us sign the cast!

Let’s start treating emotions and mental health with dignity and compassion. Just like any other disease, you can’t say when mental illness will strike you or someone you love and if that happens, you will need the same support and understanding that you may not be giving to someone who is struggling with awful times and deadly issues today.

Begin by asking someone how they are? Stop blaming your best friend for not wanting to go out! Ask her why? Sit down with your partner and genuinely listen to what is bothering them! Don’t be ashamed to take your kids to a therapist! Push the boundaries, break down the walls!

Go, sign a cast!

Now, that you have read it,

Will you consider making a change?

Will you sign a cast?