This quarantine life is hard. Undoubtedly. While everyone has their own struggles to face, it gets a little more difficult for us wives and moms. Besides having to work from home now, we are also home-schooling our kids, taking care that they are entertained, not glued to too much screen time (and failing miserably on that one…). We are also busy washing every pack of milk or every piece of vegetable that comes from outside like we have some sort of OCD at the same time washing hands, reminding everyone to do so and sanitising our door knobs and railings. It is rather difficult. And having more people at home certainly means more work, more laundry and more cooking.
Over the last few weeks I have seen many people make memes or share messages about being annoyed with their husbands being home round the clock amid the lockdown.
While most of it is simply light rumour, some of my friends are genuinely tired of having their husbands at home. And this breaks my heart.
Because there is nothing I would do to be with mine.
Mine is stuck in another country, waiting for the international flights to resume so that he can be with his family. He is constantly worried about our safety and we are for his. During a world pandemic, there is nothing more important than being with your family.
I sure understand where all of you are coming from. I get that. I understand that we all are set in our own routines, and having your partner at home is a blessing but it does change a lot of routines and you may not like that. You may have to nag a little more for that towel on the bed or your husband being a couch potato. I understand your husband may be trying to help by cooking dinner but leaves the kitchen a mess for you to clean up. I get that it is annoying to make those extra cups of tea or coffee while he works from home and you working from home may not seem as important to him. You see, I get it all. It is not easy.
I also understand that it is not so easy for your mental health which may already be tossed out of window because of all that you see happening around the world.
However, as a woman who has been living away from her husband for almost 3 months now, I can assure you that you are in a better position living with your husband at home.
Because no matter how much you enjoy your own space and doing things your way, it gets too much at a certain point.
When your days are merging in to each other, you need a partner to remind you what makes it different.
When the kids get too much to handle, you need that “daddy’s thunderous voice” to calm that storm.
When you think it is too much to get out of bed, you need someone to make you a cup of coffee.
When it seems futile to even look at yourself, you need someone to give you a hug and tell you how beautiful you look in your bun and leggings. You need someone to dress up for!
Every now and then, you come across something incredibly sad, and that moment all you want is someone to hold you. Every once in a while, the reality of what is happening in the world sinks in and you realise you just want your partner with you, safe, at home.
Because no one knows how long it will take for things to come back to normal. Or even what the new normal will be.
Your husbands nagging, watching TV all day or demanding for another cup of tea may be annoying at times, I will not deny that.
But we realise the importance of some things only when we are deprived of that. Like a hug, a cuddle, a reassurance or a mere presence.
So, all you wives, I know it is not easy, but hang in there and appreciate what you have because there is someone who would trade a lot to be in your shoes and would make those endless cups of teas and snacks, pick up the wet towels with a smile and happily watch her husband cook a messy dinner!!!
Stay home. Stay safe!
Parenting & More By Disha Sethi 